I think God text me today...

  I went over to a dear friend of mines house early this morning to pick up some Mary Kay products she left for me on her porch as she ALWAYS has for the past 3 months. Twice a month, I venture over to her neck of the woods & pull up into her driveway expecting to see a beautiful package with my name scribbled on a florescent green star. I knew it would be there, she told me it would. When I pulled up to my surprise, I didn't see anything. I got out of my car and peeked behind a brick pillar & nada. I sent her a quick text saying, "hey, I'm at your house & I don't see the package." No sooner than a second passed as I received a text in response, stating "it's there look up!"

Today is an extremely emotional day for me. We just received word that my aunt has just passed & even though we knew this day was drawing near, the sting that death leaves is never one that anyone can rightfully prepare for. My heart aches for my cousins, now motherless & for my mother whose daughter cannot be there to comfort her. There is over 300 miles that separate us and not to mention we have our adoption benefit concert tonight which I am extremely excited & nervous about, otherwise, I'd be on the first flight out!

This concert tonight sets an entirely different milestone in my life. Tons of people gathering to hear our story, God's story. People will be in attendance tonight who are standing & supporting us prayerfully through this adoption most who are complete strangers :)  Nerve wracking yet so exciting! My nerves get the best of me during times like this. "Will there be enough room, what if no one shows up, what if we don't raise enough money, what if, what if, what if..!! Then God gently whispers, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Me. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6      Ahhh...much better!

Then I think about how the rest of my family is feeling & a feeling of guilt begins to overshadow my joy. Should I be happy and this excited during such a time as this? The old catholic in me begins to elude it's "guilty" presence. I hope they could all feel this excited! Not necessarily for our adoption concert but for the same joy and peace knowing that God's got this!  I pray they all have the same hope in God to get them through this tough time as I have that tonight will be spectacular.

Yeah, we all know God has done some miraculous things in our lives, we know "this too shall pass..", we know all things are designed for the greater good and a greater purpose, but do we BELIEVE??

Hope is always right in front of our eyes, it's often found in the same place every time but what about this time...when it's not right in our line of sight & not where we found it last time, then what?

"it's there, look up..!!"